Wednesday, 16 November 2016
Sunday, 23 October 2016
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
Michelle Obama A Great American Female Role Model
Michelle Obama (1964-) was an American first lady and the wife of Barack Obama, the 44th
president of the United States. An Ivy League graduate, she built a successful career, first as a lawyer, and then in the private sector, which she maintained throughout her husband’s early political career. Concerned about the effect the campaign would have on their young daughters, Michelle was initially reluctant to support the idea of her husband’s run for the presidency.
Despite her initial misgivings, she proved to be an effective surrogate for him on the campaign trail. After her husband’s election, she chose a number of causes to support; advocating for support for military families and encouraging healthy eating to solve the epidemic of childhood obesity. As a young mother, a fashion icon and the first African-American first lady, Michelle Obama became a role model to many Americans.
Michelle LaVaughn Robinson was born on January 17, 1964, in Chicago, Illinois, to parents Marian and Fraser Robinson. Although Fraser’s modest pay as a city-pump operator led to cramped living in their South Shore bungalow, the Robinsons were a close-knit family, with Michelle and older brother Craig pushed to excel in school. Both children skipped the second grade, and Michelle was later chosen for a gifted-student program that enabled her to take French and advanced biology courses.
president of the United States. An Ivy League graduate, she built a successful career, first as a lawyer, and then in the private sector, which she maintained throughout her husband’s early political career. Concerned about the effect the campaign would have on their young daughters, Michelle was initially reluctant to support the idea of her husband’s run for the presidency.
Despite her initial misgivings, she proved to be an effective surrogate for him on the campaign trail. After her husband’s election, she chose a number of causes to support; advocating for support for military families and encouraging healthy eating to solve the epidemic of childhood obesity. As a young mother, a fashion icon and the first African-American first lady, Michelle Obama became a role model to many Americans.
Michelle LaVaughn Robinson was born on January 17, 1964, in Chicago, Illinois, to parents Marian and Fraser Robinson. Although Fraser’s modest pay as a city-pump operator led to cramped living in their South Shore bungalow, the Robinsons were a close-knit family, with Michelle and older brother Craig pushed to excel in school. Both children skipped the second grade, and Michelle was later chosen for a gifted-student program that enabled her to take French and advanced biology courses.
Making the lengthy daily trip to attend Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, Michelle became student council treasurer and a member of the National Honor Society before graduating as class salutatorian in 1981. She then followed her brother to Princeton University, where she created a reading program for the children of the school’s manual laborers. A sociology major with a minor in African-American studies, she explored the connections between the school’s black alumni and their communities in her senior thesis, graduating cum laude in 1985.
After earning her J.D. from Harvard Law School in 1988, Michelle joined the Chicago office of the law firm Sidley Austin as a junior associate specializing in marketing and intellectual property. Assigned to mentor a summer intern namedBarack Obama, she deflected his initial romantic advancements before they began dating. They were engaged within two years, and married at the Trinity United Church of Christ on October 3, 1992.
Michelle left corporate law in 1991 to pursue a career in public service, enabling her to fulfill a personal passion and create networking opportunities that would benefit her husband’s future political career. Initially an assistant to Chicago mayor Richard Daley, she soon became the city’s assistant commissioner of planning and development. In 1993, she was named executive director for the Chicago branch of Public Allies, a leadership-training program for young adults. Moving on to the University of Chicago as associate dean of student services, she developed the school’s first community-service program.
When Obama decided to run for Illinois state senator in 1996, Michelle proved a disciplined campaign aide by canvassing for signatures and throwing fundraising parties. However, their victory presented the family with new challenges; following the births of daughters Malia (1998) and Sasha (2001), Michelle often had to juggle the demands of work and child-rearing alone with her husband tending to business in the state capital of Springfield.
Successful despite the difficulties, Michelle was named executive director of community relations and external affairs for the University of Chicago Hospitals in 2002. She was promoted to vice president after three years, and served on the boards of the Chicago Council on Global Affairs and the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools, but eventually scaled back her work hours and commitments to support Obama’s entry into the U.S. presidential race.
Initially criticized for her candor, Michelle soon proved an asset on the campaign trail with her knack for delivering relatable stories about her family. In addition to becoming the first African-American first lady upon Obama’s Election Day victory in 2008, she became the third with a post-graduate degree.
Michelle sought to tie her own agendas to her husband’s larger legislative goals, notably targeting the epidemic of childhood obesity while the Affordable Care Act was being created. In 2009, she worked with local elementary school students to plant a 1,100-square-foot vegetable garden on the South Lawn of the White House. The following year she launched the Let’s Move! initiative to promote healthy eating and physical activity.
In 2011, Michelle co-founded the Joining Forces program to expand educational and employment options for veterans and to raise awareness about the difficulties plaguing military families. After helping Obama win a second term in office, she formed the Reach Higher initiative to inspire young people to explore higher education and career-development opportunities.
Continuing the family theme of her campaign speeches, the first lady stressed the importance of remaining a diligent parent and brought her mother to live with her in the White House. She was also recognized for an ability to connect to younger generations by remaining attuned to popular culture. Embracing the use of social media, she encouraged fans to follow her progress on her Twitter, Facebook and Instagram accounts, and proved willing to bring her messages to audiences by appearing in humorous sketches online and on television.
Tuesday, 19 August 2014
Fourteen Hints For Becoming More Feminine
Fourteen Hints For Becoming More Feminine
I cannot answer the first question, but I can make some suggestions regarding the second one. Here are fourteen things women can do to become more feminine:
Femininity hint #1: Don’t cut your hair.
Hair is decorative and feminine. If you chop it off, you sacrifice part of your appeal. Cutting your hair is not a fatal error, but if longer hair is part of the initial package you present to your man, doing away with it may undermine your femininity in his eyes.
Many men don’t complain when their women get haircuts. I can assure you, though, that no matter how accepting of your new coiffure your man seems to be, he wants your hair to be at least as long as it was when he met you.
Femininity hint #2: If you’re overweight, lose weight. If you’re not overweight, don’t gain weight.
Many women mistakenly believe that they must be natural beauties or remain eternally young to be attractive to men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Virtually all women are feminine and attractive, if they’re thin.
Overweight women spend too much time putting on makeup and primping their hair. Their focus on themselves from the neck up is striking evidence that they don’t have a clue about what attracts men. If these misguided ladies spent as much energy on improving themselves from the neck down as they do on makeup and hairdos, they would be far more attractive.
Femininity hint #3: Dress in feminine clothing.
The feminist movement of the 1970s created a generation of women who believe that being comfortable is more important than looking good. No man is attracted to a woman in a sweat suit. Tennis skirt, yes; sweat suit, no. Tank top, yes; sweat suit, no. Snug-fitting jeans, yes; sweat suit, no.
You get the idea. The stores are filled with feminine clothing for women. Buy it, and wear it! The nicer clothing, by the way, is designed for females who pay attention to Femininity hint #2.
Femininity hint #4: Don’t put excessive cream on your face (or curlers in your hair) when you go to bed.
Femininity hint #5: Be a listener.
Focusing on the other person in a relationship brings harmony and often is as healing to the listener as it is to the speaker. Listening is a feminine function that will work wonders to further your connection with your man.
Femininity hint #6: Be pleasant and playful.
Being flirtatious creates positive vibes between you and your partner. Have fun! Hanging out together should be joyful. Be upbeat, and try to do things that will make his day better. This is mostly a matter of attitude, but your attention to pleasing details will help both of you have a good time.
Femininity hint #7: Don’t be competitive.
You may be better than your man at everything under the sun, but that misses the point. Your part in maintaining a relationship with him is to be on his side, not to outdo him.
Avoid being a know-it-all. If you really like the man you’re with, you won’t feel a need to compete with him at every opportunity. Good relationships are not about proving how much you know, but rather about lifting up the other person. If you do so, he will be more likely to do the same thing in return. Sure, you might have to be the first one to do it. So what?
Femininity hint #8: Use perfume.
Aromas are extremely feminine, and you should use them during the day and at night. Being feminine is about nurturing aspects of yourself that your man lacks. Smelling good, decorating your hair, and wearing feminine clothing will get his attention. If you do these things, he’ll be likely to seek ways to smell good and look better as well.
Femininity hint #9: Avoid arguing.
In any lasting relationship, at least one of the parties must be mature enough to stop arguments before they start. One trick for forestalling spats is to focus on helping the other person have a good day. Another is to forgo having the last word. Doing these things consistently is not easy, but the payoff is harmony that will give you lasting rewards.
Femininity hint #10: Don’t be boisterous.
Loud people are unattractive, and aggressive women are unfeminine. If you feel you must be pushy to succeed in the business world, fine, but if you are unable to turn off the pushiness after work, don’t expect men to want you around. Men seek women who bring feminine qualities to the table. If you understand this, you will have a man worth having. If you don’t, you may end up going out on Saturday nights with groups of ladies who also don’t get it.
Femininity hint #11: Take a shower before going to bed.
Going to bed clean and fragrant is highly feminine, although for men to do so is also masculine. Showering, putting on perfumed body cream, and donning fresh nightclothes at bedtime contribute to your femininity and attractiveness to your partner.
Femininity hint #12: Hold your own, but not too tough.
You need not be unsuccessful, submissive, or unintelligent to be feminine, but you do have to like being female and enjoy your role in complementing the man’s talents.
You don’t have to accept a back seat in your area of expertise, but taking your man to the mat on every issue is no way to further a relationship. If you’re doing most of the other things on this list, you’ll find that your man will give you credit when it’s due.
Femininity hint #13: Be different from your man.
The male-female contrast is what makes life interesting. Men already possess masculine traits, and they are looking for partners with characteristics that complement their own. Women who strive to be manly often succeed in the workaday world while at the same time destroying their partners’ reasons for being with them in the first place.
Gentleness, kindness, empathy, sympathy, and deference are qualities that most men value. Cultivating these attributes in yourself will further your relationship and bring harmony to your home.
Femininity hint #14: Be mindful of your language.
Few things are less feminine than using foul language, especially when the usage is off the cuff. Most women successfully avoid employing the strongest profanity, but females who express themselves without expletives of any kind have the most class and appeal.
Extra-credit Femininity hint: Pay close attention to Femininity hint #2.
Nailing Femininity hint #2 will get you a bye on some of the others. If you’re overweight, you can reduce by eating healthful foods and exercising. You need not do strenuous workouts and sweat like a horse to get in shape. Walking at a leisurely pace for an hour a day is sufficient. You must do it every day, though, and your exercise program must be combined with eating right for it to be effective.
With respect to food intake, I suggest drinking a vegetables-and-fruit shake at the beginning of each day. For lunch and dinner, focus on low-fat, low-sugar, low-calorie, low-starch choices with generous portions of chicken, fish, turkey, vegetables, grains, and fruits, and you’ll be off to an excellent start.
I have no doubt that you will think of other things to enhance your femininity and improve your connectedness with your partner. Be creative, but don’t expect everything you try to result in a home run. Work on lifting your man up in a variety of ways, and hopefully, you’ll find yourself in a harmonious relationship that will bring you satisfaction beyond your expectations
http://slingingthebull.com/fourteen-hints-for-becoming-more-feminine/
Tuesday, 5 August 2014
50 Life Skills Every Modern Woman Should Know
- Open a bottle of champagne.
- Drink without getting a hangover the next morning. Tip: Line your stomach with bread, drink one glass of water for every glass of alcohol, and don't drink more than three glasses of red wine.
- Look good in a photo. Tip: Turn your head slightly to one side rather than look the camera head-on; stand (or sit) straight with your shoulders back; arch your back ever so slightly; don't press your arms against your body; unless you have a prominent chin, stick it out just a little to accentuate your jawline.
- Remove unwanted body hair the most effectively, painlessly, and affordable way possible for her.
- Dump someone gracefully. Tip: Do it in person, if possible; get to the point quickly, choose a time when the other person isn't expected somewhere any time soon (like work... or a wedding); give a reasonable explanation; answer whatever questions he or she may ask.
- Write a sincere thank you note.
- Set a lovely table, no matter how casual the meal is.
- Wrap a gift anyone would be excited to open.
- Find someone's bridal/wedding/baby shower registry online. Tip: go to WeddingChannel.com and type in honoree's name. You'll find registries for a variety of stores. Do a "find a registry" search on Amazon, too.
- Send a BCC group email.
- Dress for her body type.
- Graciously offer assistance to someone in need.
- Book a vacation.
- Hide a bad hair day.
- Find the best deal. Tip: For big ticket items, always, always, always compare prices online. Then, do a "coupon" search and see if you can find a coupon code to save you even more money. Sites like RetailMeNot, CouponCabin, and Bargainist are great places to find great deals online.
- Write a kick-ass cover letter.
- Hold a baby.
- Make at least one great cocktail.
- Start a conversation. Tip: ask people questions about themselves, like where they grew up, how they met their significant other, or how they know the host.
- End a conversation. Tip: If you're at a party, excuse yourself to the bathroom, pretend like you just saw someone you need to say hi to, or excuse yourself to call the babysitter. Saying you're going to get a refill doesn't work as well because the person could follow you or ask you get him or her a refill, too.
- Pack everything she needs for a weekend getaway in one small bag.
- Ask someone out. Tip: Don't use ambiguous language like "hang out." Have a specific activity and/or place in mind, even if it's just coffee.
- Invest her money.
- Use Mapquest, Googlemaps, or some other 21st century version of direction-giving.
- Pack her purse with essentials: cash, ID, keys, phone, breath mints, chapstick or lipgloss, and a book, newspaper, or crossword puzzle to keep her occupied during a long wait or when she's trying to avoid someone on the train.
- Prepare, order, or pay for a tasty and healthful dinner for herself and at least one guest.
- Edit, upload, and print photos.
- Perform the Heimlich, and CPR.
- Choose a ripe fruit.
- Cook and carve a turkey (or tofurky, if you must).
- Google her date.
- Negotiate a salary and/or pay raise. This is how men do it, and women need to start negotiating more like men.
- Bite her tongue when it's appropriate to.
- Get a passport.
- Reserve a library book online.
- Leave (or find) Yelp reviews.
- Find the right bra.
- Welcome a new neighbor or co-worker. Tip: Make a point to introduce yourself and give one piece of friendly advice, like where the best place is to grab lunch.
- Get herself (and her partner) off.
- Assemble furniture.
- Figure out what to tip on a $27 bill.
- Look for a way out (of a relationship, a job, or a crowded music fest full of hipsters).
- Find a reputable repair person.
- Give a sincere (or, at least sincere-sounding) apology.
- When and how to say "no" firmly (but graciously when appropriate).
- Organize a small party or dinner for a loved one.
- Dry out her wet cell phone. Tip: turn it off and let it sit in a bowl or bag of rice overnight).
- Change a tire (or find someone who can do it for her).
- Give herself a breast exam.
- Ask for help when she needs it.
Fromhttp://inshreds.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/50-life-skills-every-modern-woman.html
Monday, 28 July 2014
Menopause Basics
All women will experience the menopause. Natural menopause takes place when the ovaries become unable to produce the hormones estrogen and progesterone. Menopause can also occur when the ovaries are damaged by specific treatment such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy, or when the ovaries are removed, often at the time of a hysterectomy. Ovaries naturally fail to produce estrogen and progesterone when they have few remaining egg cells; the maximum number of egg cells in the ovaries is present before birth, with a reduced number already at birth, gradual reduction from puberty, and a rapid decline from 40 onwards. With less egg cells, the ovaries become less able to respond to hormones from the pituitary gland in the brain: follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinising hormone (LH) and less estrogen is produced. Levels of FSH and LH subsequently rise and a measurement of FSH is sometimes used to diagnose menopause. The resulting low, and changing levels of ovarian hormones, particularly estrogen, are thought to be the cause ofmenopausal symptoms and later consequences in many women.
The term climacteric refers to the time in which the hormone levels are changing, up to the periods stopping; reducing and changing hormone levels can cause early menopausal symptoms. At this stage, there may still be enough hormones produced to stimulate the lining of the womb (endometrium) to produce monthly periods (menstruation).
Menopause means the last menstrual period. Periods stop because the low levels of estrogen and progesterone do not stimulate the lining of the womb (endometrium) in the normal cycle. Hormone levels can fluctuate for several years before eventually becoming so low that the endometrium stays thin and does not bleed.
Perimenopause is the stage from the beginning of menopausal symptoms to the postmenopause.
Postmenopause is the time following the last period, and is usually defined as more than 12 months with no periods in someone with intact ovaries, or immediately following surgery if the ovaries have been removed.
Menopause - when?
The average age of the natural menopause is 51 years, but can occur much earlier or later. Menopause occurring before the age of 45 is called early menopause and before the age of 40 is premature menopause.
Generally, women having an early or premature menopause are advised to take HRT until approximately the average age of the menopause, for both symptom control and bone protective effect.
Generally, women having an early or premature menopause are advised to take HRT until approximately the average age of the menopause, for both symptom control and bone protective effect.
Late menopause may also occur but by the age of 54, 80% of women will have stopped having periods.
Learn more at http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/menopause.php
Friday, 25 July 2014
The Path of Transformation-Spiritual Awakenings
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
Are Good Looking Girls Mean or Nice
Are good looking girls mean to some guys? Or are they actually
nicer than other girls? Here’s a good looking girl’s answer to that
big question. By a good looking Anonymous Kitty
There are a lot of mean girls out there, and perhaps a few good looking mean girls too.
But that doesn’t mean all good looking girls are mean.
Here are a few reasons why some good looking girls are mean.
#1 They’re conceited. It’s true, a few good looking girls are completely full of themselves.
They think they’re a gift to mankind or something, and believe they need to be treated better than everyone else. They’re the annoying kind of good looking girls, and definitely, the shallow ones too.
#2 They like the attention. Almost all good looking girls know they get attention all the time. They know they’re hot stuff and they intend to use their looks at every possible instance to get something favorable.
It may be to date someone rich and have a sugar daddy, or it may be something to do with getting a better job. The attention works for them and they fully use it to their advantage.
#3 They’re intentionally mean. Some good looking girls are just terribly mean. I’ve seen many girls bat their eyelids at a guy and make him approach them only to spurn him away! It’s terrible and annoying, and these are the kind of girls that give good looking girls a bad name.
But this is more like the exception than the rule. All good looking girls are not heartless skanks whose only sole means of pleasure is chucking a wrecking ball at a guy’s heart.
Good looking girls are not intentionally mean
For a long time, I’ve seen just how misunderstood good looking girls are. No matter what a good looking girl does, it’s always bad. There’s just no way out. Here are a few reasons why good looking girls are assumed to be mean.
#1 Guys always exaggerate a good looking girl’s rejection to feel better about themselves.
#2 Too many guys hit on good looking girls all the time, and they really don’t have the time to play nice to all the guys. What would you do if girls threw themselves at you all the time? You obviously can’t play nice to every girl you meet, especially if you know that you’re never going to be interested in that person.
#3 Guys are always mean to good looking girls. They expect a good looking girl to be snappy, so the guys go all out with their rude remarks. Additionally, a few guys get incredibly rude when they’re rejected. So a great looking girl’s always got to be on guard, or she’ll end up getting insulted by guys all the time.
#4 Cheesy pick up lines. How do you like your eggs in the morning… fried or fertilized? Really? How can a girl not get annoyed when she hears something like that? Most guys always use a pick up line when they strike up a conversation with a good looking girl like a pick up line makes them look cooler. But when a girl’s out with her friends, could it be possible that she’s just trying to have a nice time, not get her eggs picked?
People love to see a good looking girl punished
Sometimes, petty jealously can make people really mean. When a good looking girl gets a great guy, everyone else just hopes for her to get dumped or cheated on.
And almost always, everyone wants the good looking girl to date a guy who would treat her like crap just so she can feel their pain. This is especially true for guys who get rejected often. But really, why? What have good looking girls ever done to you? Well, yes, maybe some girl rejected you. But why stereotype all good looking girls into evil witches?
Guys want a girl who’s beautiful but doesn’t know it
Isn’t that unfair? I’ve had a few guys tell me this line with a mean grin, to spite me or be frank, I really can’t tell.
But guys, you want the best girl in the world when clearly, you’re not the best guy in the world yet. You want a confused girl who’s insecure and timid, one who isn’t aware of her own beauty. Why is that? So you can feel good about yourself?
Isn’t that mean? You want the best of something without giving your best back to her. And at the same time, when a good looking girl wants a great guy, everyone thinks the girl’s a bitch, or that she’s shallow. It’s just so unfair.
Who are the real mean girls?
The real mean girls are the ones who constantly want attention or are the ones who think they’re really good looking when they really aren’t. They act snotty and constantly want attention because somewhere deep down, they’re all insecure because they’re not sure if they’re pretty.
And almost always, a good looking girl’s not so good looking friend is usually the mean one. She tries to use her good looking friend’s attractiveness to get attention and treat guys badly because she wants to get even with all the guys who didn’t give her attention. I may sound rude and full of myself, but it’s true. People get mean when they want to inflict pain on someone else for their own shortcomings.
I know a lot of models and good looking guys and girls, and I can assure you, they are the nicest and sweetest people in the world. Just don’t try hitting on them or taking them to bed at hello. Get to know them as a friend first. You’ll see how nice good looking people really are. They’re just like every other nice person in the world.
Good looking girls are human too
Contrary to popular belief, good looking girls are just like everyone else. They have a heart that hurts and wants true love too. Here are a few things about good looking girls that many guys don’t give a thought about.
#1 They want to be appreciated too. It’s true, they love romance and little skips of joy like every other girl out there. But please, be a great guy who’s sweet and charming.
#2 They’re more than skin deep. Good looking girls want to be liked for who they are beyond their appearance. When a guy just stares at her without listening to her words, it’s insulting.
#3 They don’t like being constantly picked up. Good looking girls don’t want to be hit on or stared at all the time. They’re not animals at a zoo. Why do guys think good looking girls are just meant to be picked up?
#4 Screw the prejudice. Really, good looking girls aren’t always mean. They know their worth, and they appreciate a guy who knows to behave around them and treat them as a person. And they’re completely human and have feelings just like all other girls.
Most good looking girls are nicer than other girls
Almost all the time, most good looking girls are nicer than average looking girls. Good looking girls need to try harder to prove that they’re not stuck up or full of themselves.
An average looking girl sometimes throws a hissy fit just to feel pampered. When she does that, everyone else thinks she’s being cute. But when a good looking girl does the same thing, she’s being bitchy. When a great looking girl asks a guy for a favor like getting dropped home, I see eyes rolling and hear gasps of exasperation. Everyone thinks she’s taking advantage of a guy. But when any other girl does that, they think she’s being a good friend. Isn’t that unfair?
And on another note, good looking girls always need to work harder to achieve anything. Whatever we achieve in life, people think we got it off easy. Yes, it’s true, guys are nicer to good looking girls. But not all of them. Almost all guys just think the world’s spinning in our favor because we’re good looking girls. And that’s just not true.
Debunking the stereotype
Really, good looking girls have a heart too. Just for once, try to see the world through our eyes. How would you feel if every guy you get introduced to looks at your breasts while speaking to you and stares at your ass when you walk away? Would you feel like a person or an object?
Monday, 13 May 2013
How To Be Happier
"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States
Think of a happy friend, neighbor, or classmate. When you think of them, you become happy too-- and people you touch may also become happier. A happy person's influence spreads out three degrees, according to scientists who have been studying people over twenty-plus years (Framingham Heart Study).
We have some control over how happy we are. Here are some tips on how to be happier:
1) Find ten things to be grateful about -- every day.
This is one of the most effective ways to be happier. Studies of lottery winners and paraplegics alike show that a person's individual level of happiness is directly related to their own perception and ability to find happiness, regardless of the situation. When you are grateful you are happier.
2) Seek out happy friends.
Make friends with people who have a cheerful outlook and an enthusiastic attitude. They will help remind you of things to be happy about in life. As an alternative, start minimizing your time with negative, whiner, or complaining people.
3) Go for a 15-minute walk.
Fresh air and a change of perspective help move you towards happiness. Find a patch of nature like a community garden, a park, or a lake to walk around.
4) Breathe deeply.
Believe it or not, you may not be getting enough life-giving oxygen. Sit still for a moment and breathe deeply ten times --- with the added boost of revitalization, you may find yourself in a happier frame of mind.
5) Find the small stuff that makes you happy - and do it every day.
As creatures of habit, we crave routine. Incorporate something that brings you happiness into your daily routine, so you experience that mood enhancement every day. A "small thing" could be anything that elevates your spirit and is healthy for you and the people around you: it might mean using a favorite toothpaste, watering your potted plants, a familiar bike ride to campus or work, a sharp pencil, five minutes of doing something relaxing, a happy picture on your screen, your favorite tunes on your playlist, a daily massage, or anything that brings you pleasure.
Think of happiness as a number of happy moments, stretching out to infinity --- and go from one of these moments to the next, to the next, to the next.
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
What does it mean when a lady gets a tattoo?
I was far more nervous about my second tattoo than my first, and it took me a long time to figure out why. All the apprehension I had when I went in for the first time – questions of pain, regret, family approval – were, I think, pretty standard things you feel mildly obliged to worry about; and they all faded away as soon as my tattoo artist started, never to return. I thought the lead up to my second would be anxiety free.
The difference between the two tattoos is this: the first is on my back; the second on my upper arm. That is, pretty clearly visible, especially on formal occasions (which come up a bit at my work). I knew, after I got my first tattoo, that I loved it and I loved the tattoo aesthetic. I knew that I wanted more. I had – or have – rarely been so certain of things that can’t be taken back. But there was some part of me didn’t want other people to know that.
It can be hard for a woman to assert ownership of her body. We grow up in a world in which our bodies are battlegrounds: politically, religiously, ideologically, and to differing extents all over the world. I think we become aware very early on that there are people out there who dispute our claim to have control over our own bodies, concerning everything from our right to choose, to how we present ourselves in public, to our sexual habits and inclinations.
I don’t mean to compare hesitation to get a tattoo with the struggle for reproductive rights, suffrage, freedom from violence, or any of the other (far more pressing) concerns for women around the world. But I do mean to suggest that they are in some small way connected, through the sometimes unconscious processes of socialisation.
It is not surprising, after all, that this millennia old struggle for control should inform our ideas of what is beautiful and desirable, and that this should filter through media, advertising and art to us. Tattoos, I would argue, are a small stand against the dominant aesthetic paradigm which equates femininity to emptiness.
Besides tattoos, think of the many circumstances in which filled (or positive) space equates to masculinity, and empty (or negative) space equates to femininity. Scars, for example; a scar on a man is sexy: it speaks of experience, survival, strength. On a woman, it equates to damage, carelessness, and victimhood.
Think, even, of the aesthetics of the cosmetics industry: flawless skin and hairless bodies. No stretch marks, wrinkles, moles, or body hair. No signs of aging or experience, please. It’s also no co-incidence that the traditional Western wedding (and debutant) dress is white: it symbolises not only purity, but vacancy.
Even the traditional rituals of such ceremonies suggests that we do not define ourselves; wepresent ourselves to other people, and through the course of our lives are defined according to and within tightly controlled and constructed social occasions.
Upon thinking about this, I realised that there was some part of me that bought into this idea. That wanted to maintain the idea of myself as a blank slate, and a space for someone else’s projections. Not ‘the girl with tattoos’, but ‘the girl who could be anything you want’. Is that a healthy impulse? I don’t think so. Why do I care more about preserving the non-existent tabula rasa of my body than asserting my individuality in a way that makes me happy?
It was a while before I was comfortable saying: I don’t.
And I love my new tattoo: a black ink sketch of Charles Darwin’s predicted moth, its wings spread and its unlikely, long proboscis arcing up my arm. It’s a tribute to the ideas that have shaped me – literally and intellectually. It gets its fair share of comments; most are overwhelmingly positive, and some are not. It turns out visible tattoos are an excellent litmus test for awful people: “I can’t believe,” a stranger, male, said to me one night without the slightest hint of irony, “that a girl knows about science.” I was happy to have proved him wrong.
In the context of our modern femininity and our ongoing battles, I think there’s something wonderfully revolutionary about tattoos. They are a small flag which says, this is mine. This body, which I have a fleeting possession over for too few decades, is wholly mine and all I am: complete and sovereign.
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Am I In Love 21 Signs That Help Decode That Fuzzy Feeling
Am I in love? – The 21 love signs to decode that fuzzy feeling!
Love can be confusing, especially if you’re experiencing that feeling for the first time with someone new. It leaves you feeling scared and yet overwhelmingly excited.
Use these 21 signs to find out if you’re in love, and if you do experience most of these 21 signs, you’re truly and deeply in the first stage of love, in a perfect start to something that could change your life for the better, forever!
#1 Awesome and oh-so-perfect. When you start to fall in love with someone, everything about them would seem so perfect. And every second longer that you stare, they just seem to get better and better. And you can’t imagine anyone in the world who’s more perfect, and more importantly, perfect for you!
#2 You can’t focus. You’re constantly distracted and have a hard time focusing on anything other than this new person in your life. Everything other than your new lover including your work, your friends and your commitments start to take a backseat.
#3 You feel selfless. You can’t help but put this person’s needs before yours all the time. You’re eager to sacrifice your wants just to see your new lover happy because watching them happy makes you happy.
#4 Mood swings and excitement. You’d feel excited all the time when you start falling in love with someone. But with that high of excitement also come the terribly painful lows of disappointment. You get excited easily when your sweetheart does something nice for you. But at the same time, you get disappointed very easily too, especially when your sweetie doesn’t call you on time or forgets to text you goodnight!
#5 Daydreaming and fantasies. Your mind drifts away into fantasyland almost all day. You may be in the middle of an important meeting or having a conversation with friends, but your mind may involuntarily drift into a daydream about the last time you and your new lover did something together.
#6 There’s not enough time. When you’re falling in love with someone, time may stand still when both of you are together. But yet, there’s just not enough time to be with each other! You could spend all day in each other’s arms, but when it comes to saying goodbye, it’s still the hardest thing to say to each other.
#7 They’re so cute. Everything about this person you love would start to seem charming or cute. It could be something as trivial as the way they run their hands through their hair or the way they smile when you compliment them. But to you, that gesture of theirs would make your heart melt in a flash!
#8 Jealousy and possessiveness. You’d feel very possessive of your lover. You may not always display your jealousy or your possessiveness to them, but you’d feel a twang of jealousy welling within you if you see your new lover having a flirty conversation with an attractive someone.
#9 Happy events. You create memories or try to compare anything both of you do together to something more beautiful, meaningful and dramatic. Something as trivial as having coffee together one evening could convince you that it one of the happiest evenings of your life.
#10 Our place. If you’re falling in love with this person, you’d start naming places as “our place”, or “the place we laughed so much” or “the place which sells the cupcakes both of us love”. Doing that makes both of you feel closer, creates more together-memories faster and makes your relationship seem more meaningful and important.
#11 Mesmerized. You’re mesmerized when you listen to them talk about something. You don’t want them to stop talking, and you could spend all day watching those lips move so beautifully while saying anything at all. In fact, at times, you may be so mesmerized by them that you may not even realize what they’re talking about.
#12 Spread the word. When you love someone, you can’t stop talking about them. You’d talk about how amazing they are, how wonderful you feel and how romantic the world feels all of a sudden, with everyone who’s willing to listen to you.
#13 Rolling in bed. Rolling around in bed is a definite sign of falling in love. When you start to fall for someone, the comfort of a soft, cozy bed would remind you of your new lover’s touch. And every morning, you’d spend a few more minutes running your hands around your bed and fantasizing about how perfect it would be if your lover was in bed with you.
#14 Your jaws hurt. No matter how hard you try, you can’t clamp that smile shut even if your jaws hurt. The world looks so beautiful, and everything in it just makes you smile and jump.
#15 Special times. You constantly think of ways to do something special for them. When you’re shopping, you feel like picking something up for them. When you’re having lunch with friends at a really nice place, you wonder how it would be to come to this place with your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
#16 Your ex vanishes. You may have been haunted by the memories of your ex for several months, but all of a sudden your ex doesn’t hurt you anymore. In fact, they don’t even exist anymore!
#17 You’ve found the one. No one else seems as attractive and perfect as your new partner anymore. You could walk into a club and see the most gorgeous people on earth, but somehow, none of them seem as exciting as the one you’re falling in love with.
#18 Entangled hands. You just can’t keep your hands off this person when you’re with them. You hold hands while walking, while talking and even while sitting at a restaurant *even if that means you have to use only one hand to cut your steak!*
#19 The big future. You make plans for the future, even if it’s only in your head. You imagine how wonderful the years ahead would be with this person in your life.
#20 You melt just a little bit. You can’t stop grinning or blushing while talking to this person you love. Their compliments make you blush. Their longing stares make you melt like butter. And their warm hugs just make you want to sink into them completely.
#21 Those love songs. You may hate love songs to begin with, but when you fall in love, you can’t help but listen to mushy love songs and visualize your own fairytale romance in it. Somehow, love songs always make you feel more in love, especially if the lyrics seem to coincide with your own love story.
The first stage of love, the infatuation stage, is always wonderful, full of romance and unquenchable passion. And it’s a perfect step to pave the way into the next eight stages of love, which will only get better and more meaningful. But which stage are you in right now? Or are you even in love?
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