Fourteen Hints For Becoming More Feminine

Photo by David Long

Men like women. Men love women. Men like loving women. Not all women are feminine, but the ones that men like, and love, are of that inclination. Two questions that women might ask themselves, then, are: “Do I care about attracting men?” and, if so, “What are the female qualities that attract them?”
 
I cannot answer the first question, but I can make some suggestions regarding the second one. Here are fourteen things women can do to become more feminine:

Femininity hint #1: Don’t cut your hair.

Hair is decorative and feminine. If you chop it off, you sacrifice part of your appeal. Cutting your hair is not a fatal error, but if longer hair is part of the initial package you present to your man, doing away with it may undermine your femininity in his eyes.

Many men don’t complain when their women get haircuts. I can assure you, though, that no matter how accepting of your new coiffure your man seems to be, he wants your hair to be at least as long as it was when he met you.

Femininity hint #2: If you’re overweight, lose weight. If you’re not overweight, don’t gain weight.

Many women mistakenly believe that they must be natural beauties or remain eternally young to be attractive to men. Nothing could be further from the truth. Virtually all women are feminine and attractive, if they’re thin.

Overweight women spend too much time putting on makeup and primping their hair. Their focus on themselves from the neck up is striking evidence that they don’t have a clue about what attracts men. If these misguided ladies spent as much energy on improving themselves from the neck down as they do on makeup and hairdos, they would be far more attractive.

Femininity hint #3: Dress in feminine clothing.

The feminist movement of the 1970s created a generation of women who believe that being comfortable is more important than looking good. No man is attracted to a woman in a sweat suit. Tennis skirt, yes; sweat suit, no. Tank top, yes; sweat suit, no. Snug-fitting jeans, yes; sweat suit, no.

You get the idea. The stores are filled with feminine clothing for women. Buy it, and wear it! The nicer clothing, by the way, is designed for females who pay attention to Femininity hint #2.

Femininity hint #4: Don’t put excessive cream on your face (or curlers in your hair) when you go to bed.

Photo by Foxtongue

Aside from being hilarious, the ritual of bedtime face-greasing is obviously counterproductive. Of what possible value is smoother skin, if you scare your husband half to death each night before turning in? If you must put cream on your face, do it when your man is not around. When you go to bed, you should look your absolute best.

Femininity hint #5: Be a listener.

Focusing on the other person in a relationship brings harmony and often is as healing to the listener as it is to the speaker. Listening is a feminine function that will work wonders to further your connection with your man.

Femininity hint #6: Be pleasant and playful.

Being flirtatious creates positive vibes between you and your partner. Have fun! Hanging out together should be joyful. Be upbeat, and try to do things that will make his day better. This is mostly a matter of attitude, but your attention to pleasing details will help both of you have a good time.

Femininity hint #7: Don’t be competitive.

You may be better than your man at everything under the sun, but that misses the point. Your part in maintaining a relationship with him is to be on his side, not to outdo him.

Avoid being a know-it-all. If you really like the man you’re with, you won’t feel a need to compete with him at every opportunity. Good relationships are not about proving how much you know, but rather about lifting up the other person. If you do so, he will be more likely to do the same thing in return. Sure, you might have to be the first one to do it. So what?

Femininity hint #8: Use perfume.

Aromas are extremely feminine, and you should use them during the day and at night. Being feminine is about nurturing aspects of yourself that your man lacks. Smelling good, decorating your hair, and wearing feminine clothing will get his attention. If you do these things, he’ll be likely to seek ways to smell good and look better as well.

Femininity hint #9: Avoid arguing.

In any lasting relationship, at least one of the parties must be mature enough to stop arguments before they start. One trick for forestalling spats is to focus on helping the other person have a good day. Another is to forgo having the last word. Doing these things consistently is not easy, but the payoff is harmony that will give you lasting rewards.

Femininity hint #10: Don’t be boisterous.

Loud people are unattractive, and aggressive women are unfeminine. If you feel you must be pushy to succeed in the business world, fine, but if you are unable to turn off the pushiness after work, don’t expect men to want you around. Men seek women who bring feminine qualities to the table. If you understand this, you will have a man worth having. If you don’t, you may end up going out on Saturday nights with groups of ladies who also don’t get it.

Femininity hint #11: Take a shower before going to bed.

Going to bed clean and fragrant is highly feminine, although for men to do so is also masculine. Showering, putting on perfumed body cream, and donning fresh nightclothes at bedtime contribute to your femininity and attractiveness to your partner.

Femininity hint #12: Hold your own, but not too tough.

You need not be unsuccessful, submissive, or unintelligent to be feminine, but you do have to like being female and enjoy your role in complementing the man’s talents.

You don’t have to accept a back seat in your area of expertise, but taking your man to the mat on every issue is no way to further a relationship. If you’re doing most of the other things on this list, you’ll find that your man will give you credit when it’s due.

Femininity hint #13: Be different from your man.

The male-female contrast is what makes life interesting. Men already possess masculine traits, and they are looking for partners with characteristics that complement their own. Women who strive to be manly often succeed in the workaday world while at the same time destroying their partners’ reasons for being with them in the first place.

Gentleness, kindness, empathy, sympathy, and deference are qualities that most men value. Cultivating these attributes in yourself will further your relationship and bring harmony to your home.

Femininity hint #14: Be mindful of your language.

Few things are less feminine than using foul language, especially when the usage is off the cuff. Most women successfully avoid employing the strongest profanity, but females who express themselves without expletives of any kind have the most class and appeal.

Extra-credit Femininity hint: Pay close attention to Femininity hint #2.

Nailing Femininity hint #2 will get you a bye on some of the others. If you’re overweight, you can reduce by eating healthful foods and exercising. You need not do strenuous workouts and sweat like a horse to get in shape. Walking at a leisurely pace for an hour a day is sufficient. You must do it every day, though, and your exercise program must be combined with eating right for it to be effective.

With respect to food intake, I suggest drinking a vegetables-and-fruit shake at the beginning of each day. For lunch and dinner, focus on low-fat, low-sugar, low-calorie, low-starch choices with generous portions of chicken, fish, turkey, vegetables, grains, and fruits, and you’ll be off to an excellent start.

I have no doubt that you will think of other things to enhance your femininity and improve your connectedness with your partner. Be creative, but don’t expect everything you try to result in a home run. Work on lifting your man up in a variety of ways, and hopefully, you’ll find yourself in a harmonious relationship that will bring you satisfaction beyond your expectations

http://slingingthebull.com/fourteen-hints-for-becoming-more-feminine/

50 Life Skills Every Modern Woman Should Know

1. Open a bottle of champagne.
2. Drink without getting a hangover the next morning. Tip: Line your stomach with bread, drink one glass of water for every glass of alcohol, and don't drink more than three glasses of red wine.
3.  Look good in a photo. Tip: Turn your head slightly to one side rather than look the camera head-on; stand (or sit) straight with your shoulders back; arch your back ever so slightly; don't press your arms against your body; unless you have a prominent chin, stick it out just a little to accentuate your jawline.
4. Remove unwanted body hair the most effectively, painlessly, and affordable way possible for her.
5. Dump someone gracefully. Tip: Do it in person, if possible; get to the point quickly, choose a time when the other person isn't expected somewhere any time soon (like work... or a wedding); give a reasonable explanation; answer whatever questions he or she may ask.
6. Write a sincere thank you note.
7. Set a lovely table, no matter how casual the meal is.
8. Wrap a gift anyone would be excited to open.
9. Find someone's bridal/wedding/baby shower registry online. Tip: go to WeddingChannel.com and type in honoree's name. You'll find registries for a variety of stores. Do a "find a registry" search on Amazon, too.
10. Send a BCC group email.
11.  Dress for her body type.
12. Graciously offer assistance to someone in need.
13. Book a vacation.
14. Hide a bad hair day.
15. Find the best deal. Tip: For big ticket items, always, always, always compare prices online. Then, do a "coupon" search and see if you can find a coupon code to save you even more money. Sites like RetailMeNot, CouponCabin, and Bargainist are great places to find great deals online.
16. Write a kick-ass cover letter.
17. Hold a baby.
18. Make at least one great cocktail.
19. Start a conversation. Tip: ask people questions about themselves, like where they grew up, how they met their significant other, or how they know the host.
20. End a conversation. Tip: If you're at a party, excuse yourself to the bathroom, pretend like you just saw someone you need to say hi to, or excuse yourself to call the babysitter. Saying you're going to get a refill doesn't work as well because the person could follow you or ask you get him or her a refill, too.
21. Pack everything she needs for a weekend getaway in one small bag.
22. Ask someone out. Tip: Don't use ambiguous language like "hang out." Have a specific activity and/or place in mind, even if it's just coffee.
23. Invest her money.
24. Use Mapquest, Googlemaps, or some other 21st century version of direction-giving.
25. Pack her purse with essentials: cash, ID, keys, phone, breath mints, chapstick or lipgloss, and a book, newspaper, or crossword puzzle to keep her occupied during a long wait or when she's trying to avoid someone on the train.
26. Prepare, order, or pay for a tasty and healthful dinner for herself and at least one guest.
27. Edit, upload, and print photos.
28. Perform the Heimlich, and CPR.
29. Choose a ripe fruit.
30. Cook and carve a turkey (or tofurky, if you must).
31. Google her date.
32. Negotiate a salary and/or pay raise. This is how men do it, and women need to start negotiating more like men.
33. Bite her tongue when it's appropriate to.
34. Get a passport.
35. Reserve a library book online.
36. Leave (or find) Yelp reviews.
37. Find the right bra.
38. Welcome a new neighbor or co-worker. Tip: Make a point to introduce yourself and give one piece of friendly advice, like where the best place is to grab lunch.
39. Get herself (and her partner) off.
40. Assemble furniture.
41. Figure out what to tip on a $27 bill.
42. Look for a way out (of a relationship, a job, or a crowded music fest full of hipsters).
43. Find a reputable repair person.
44. Give a sincere (or, at least sincere-sounding) apology.
45. When and how to say "no" firmly (but graciously when appropriate).
46. Organize a small party or dinner for a loved one.
47. Dry out her wet cell phone. Tip: turn it off and let it sit in a bowl or bag of rice overnight).
48. Change a tire (or find someone who can do it for her).
49. Give herself a breast exam.
50. Ask for help when she needs it.

Fromhttp://inshreds.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/50-life-skills-every-modern-woman.html

Menopause Basics

All women will experience the menopause. Natural menopause takes place when the ovaries become unable to produce the hormones estrogen and progesterone. Menopause can also occur when the ovaries are damaged by specific treatment such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy, or when the ovaries are removed, often at the time of a hysterectomy. Ovaries naturally fail to produce estrogen and progesterone when they have few remaining egg cells; the maximum number of egg cells in the ovaries is present before birth, with a reduced number already at birth, gradual reduction from puberty, and a rapid decline from 40 onwards. With less egg cells, the ovaries become less able to respond to hormones from the pituitary gland in the brain: follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinising hormone (LH) and less estrogen is produced. Levels of FSH and LH subsequently rise and a measurement of FSH is sometimes used to diagnose menopause. The resulting low, and changing levels of ovarian hormones, particularly estrogen, are thought to be the cause ofmenopausal symptoms and later consequences in many women.

The term climacteric refers to the time in which the hormone levels are changing, up to the periods stopping; reducing and changing hormone levels can cause early menopausal symptoms. At this stage, there may still be enough hormones produced to stimulate the lining of the womb (endometrium) to produce monthly periods (menstruation).

Menopause means the last menstrual period. Periods stop because the low levels of estrogen and progesterone do not stimulate the lining of the womb (endometrium) in the normal cycle. Hormone levels can fluctuate for several years before eventually becoming so low that the endometrium stays thin and does not bleed.

Perimenopause is the stage from the beginning of menopausal symptoms to the postmenopause.

Postmenopause is the time following the last period, and is usually defined as more than 12 months with no periods in someone with intact ovaries, or immediately following surgery if the ovaries have been removed.

Menopause - when?

The average age of the natural menopause is 51 years, but can occur much earlier or later. Menopause occurring before the age of 45 is called early menopause and before the age of 40 is premature menopause.

Generally, women having an early or premature menopause are advised to take HRT until approximately the average age of the menopause, for both symptom control and bone protective effect.

Late menopause may also occur but by the age of 54, 80% of women will have stopped having periods.

Learn more at http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/menopause.php

The Path of Transformation-Spiritual Awakenings

"One of the most enduring metaphors for the spiritual path is the transformation of the lowly catepillar into a butterfly.  Out of its own substance, the ground-hugging grub weaves the medium for its metamorphosis—the chrysalis within which it evolves into a beautiful creature with wings.  The human being undergoes an equally dramatic transformation, unfolding the path to liberation from within the depths of the soul and emerging, after great struggle, as an expression of divinity in the world."   When the Soul Awakens

TRANSFORMATION   The Goal of the Spiritual Path

The word “transformation” first became popular during the 1960s and 70s as the new wave of spirituality began to emerge.  For "new-agers," it was a word associated with spiritual awakening, though its deeper meaning remained obscure for some time.  By the 80s and 90s, the word took the corporate world by storm as a trendy synonym for change, and by the start of the new millennium it had become mainstreamed to the extent that it was used by government agencies, most notably the Pentagon.  The spiritual significance of the word had become buried.In the wisdom teachings, transformation is the process by which the human being becomes a spiritual being.  It involves a metamorphosis that begins when the soul in incarnation awakens to its spiritual essence, after lifetimes of immersion in matter, and discovers the spiritual Path of Return.  Along the way, the individual who was identified with the outer persona—the body, emotions, and mind—gradually becomes identified with the soul, the inner spiritual being.  Toward the end of this transformative path, the light of the soul is revealed through the mask of the persona. It has taken millions of years for humanity to reach this moment in evolution, when countless souls are becoming aware of their higher nature.  Our journey as a species began deep in the mists of time, when sparks of the Godhead were immersed in material substance for the purpose of evolving consciousness.  The friction between the opposite poles of our being—spirit and matter—has resulted in the endless struggles that continue to form the content of most human lives.  Over time, however, as a result of eons of suffering through physical plane experience, and finally learning from that experience, this friction produces light. In our time of accelerated evolution, the path of ordinary human living is drawing to a close for many people around the world.  Growing numbers of individuals are awakening to the reality that they are more than physical beings with emotions and minds.  As the popular catchphrase goes, they're recognizing that they are 'spiritual beings having a human experience.'  Inevitably, awakening leads to the path of transformation, by means of which the beauty, power, and light inherent in the spiritual Self—the Soul—is gradually revealed. Consciousness Evolves in Stages Technically speaking, the process of transformation occurs in three stages, according to the ageless wisdom.  The terms used to describe these progressive stages of unfoldment are:  transmutation, transformation, and transfiguration. Lifetimes are required to complete the metamorphosis that culminates at the stage of transfiguration, when the light of the Soul pours down upon the outer persona and changes it—permanently. Those who have approached that advanced stage on the Path portray the process as an often harrowing one—light-years apart from popular notions of the spiritual path.  Descriptions of the quest in advertisements for books, workshops and conferences often make it sound like an exciting travel adventure that can be luxuriously comfortable and pleasurable.  “In actuality,” as we wrote in When the Soul Awakens, “the spiritual path is never pleasant or comfortable, though joy is surely among its ultimate rewards.”  The passage continues: Unlike a cruise, which picks us up and drops us off at the same place with our personalities intact, the spiritual path transfigures the very nature of our being.  By treading the path we become an entirely different being from the personality with which we were identified at the start, undergoing a metamorphosis that is, by its very nature, often painful. [1] What makes the process painful is the “task” at its core: blending spirit and matter.  To forge unity out of this exteme polarity, the part of us that is of a material nature must be purified and refined so that it may blend with that which is spiritual.  The soul, the divine spark immersed in matter, is a 'unit of consciousness' that incarnates in a threefold form (body, emotions and mind)—or personality—in order to gain awareness through material plane experience.  Eventually, a mysterious spiritual alchemy occurs by means of which the lower self or persona (sometimes called the human soul) becomes vaguely aware of its higher counterpart—the higher Self (also called the spiritual soul, the soul on its own plane).  When this awareness reaches a kindling point, awakening occurs.  Not long thereafter, a seeker of light is born. Until the moment of awakening, which is often experienced through an opening of the heart and consequent sensing of the oneness of life, the human soul is imprisoned by the matrix of material forces in which it dwells.  The personality is identified with the world of material form and its consciousness is immersed in material living.  At that stage of awareness, the individual's life is typically governed by a combination of instinct, selfish desire, personal ambition and greed. On the path of transformation, these material forces are transmuted into spiritual energies such as wisdom, love, and higher purpose.  What occurs is an extremely subtle process that is reflected in the subtleties of language prevalent in the wisdom teachings.  In this language, a distinction is made between energies and forces.  The word energy generally refers to that which is formless—spiritual substance that flows freely.  The word force refers to energy encased in matter and limited by form. Transmutation Transmutation is the first phase of the transformative journey.  It marks the start of the process in which material forces are elevated through the power of the mind, in the goal of transmuting them into spiritual energies.  At this early stage in the life of the spiritual aspirant, the soul is not yet fully conscious of itself on its own plane but has become aware of spiritual realities.  The personality is still largely identified with its physical body, emotions and mind, but has become sufficiently integrated and coordinated to begin the task of transmuting force into energy. Material force is charged or 'stepped up' into soul energy through the mind and will.  At this stage, the aspirant learns to concentrate the mind to affect the subtle forces of the threefold personality:  the mind itself, the astral or emotional body, and the vital energy body that underlies the physical form.  The power of focused thought is used to lift the emotional forces of the desire nature (anchored in the subtle center or chakra that is the solar plexus) to the heart center.  In the heart center, the force of personal desire is transmuted into the magnetic energy of spiritual love.  Altruists, idealists, people who work for the greater good of humanity exemplify the transmutation of the force of the desire nature into the energy of love. Creative people embody another facet of transmutation: the lifting up of procreative forces (located in the sacral or sexual chakra) into the creative energies associated with the throat chakra.  Individuals working in this way are often engaged in some form of communication, broadly defined.  They may be artists, musicians, writers, philosophers, or even scientists.  Through their chosen vocation or avocation, they actively transmute the “raw material force” of sexuality into creative expression in the world—often in the goal of enriching the lives of others.  Throughout the ages, creative geniuses have wrestled with their lower natures, struggling to utilize the vital forces of their personalities in service to the world. Transformation When the mind can successfully direct the forces of its persona, and the lower forces have been sufficiently transmuted into higher energies, transmutation gives way to transformation.  This second phase of the journey involves the unification of personality force and soul energy into a smoothly functioning unit.  By its end, the personality is imbued with the soul’s energy to the point that the outer persona is transformed into a vehicle for the soul's expression in the world. This phase begins as the individual awakens more fully to the reality of the soul.  He or she begins to recognize the spiritual self as a unique “entity”—distinct from the personality that is immersed in the material world.  This is the juncture of the path where a sense of duality emerges.  The human soul experiences life primarily as a personality with various outer identities:  teacher or lawyer, artist or activist, mother or father, husband or wife.  But at the same time, the boundless, spiritual identity of the true Self begins to break through into conscious awareness. At this stage there is a growing sense of living in two dimensions or having two aspects of self—a worldly persona playing its own unique roles plus a higher Self slowly learning to attune to a higher plane of reality.  During this phase, as the 'two selves' come into closer relationship with each other, there is a gradual shift in the focus of consciousness from the outer world of form to the inner world of spiritual meaning.  With this change in orientation there comes, as a result of great struggle and surrender, a parallel shift in identity—from the personality to the Soul. In the early stages of the shift, the seeker experiences great conflict between these two aspects of self.  The soul struggles to control the lower nature, which fights to maintain dominion over itself and its habitual ways of living life.  The selfish motives and drives of the persona, with its deep-rooted attachments to the material world, are not easily yielded to the higher aspect of Self.  Thus the seeker is pulled in two directions—towards the unfamiliar realm of spirit and towards the comfortable and still attractive realm of matter.  The challenge is learning to tread the Middle Way—on “the narrow razor-edged path” that leads between “the two great lines of force”—as the personality is increasingly exposed to the transforming light of the soul. Technically, the name of this stage of the journey, which follows upon the path of aspiration, is the path of discipleship.  The phase of aspiring to live a spiritual life, which involves transmuting lower forces into higher energies, gives way to a conscious commitment to a life of intense self-discipline and active service in the world. On the discipleship path, spiritual disciplines become established as habits of daily living.  The soul slowly takes control of the outer form, increasingly directing the disciple and transforming the life from within.  Under the transformative influence of the soul, the personality begins to display divine qualities such as inclusive love, wisdom, and compassion.  The individual learns to stand in spiritual being, aligned with the “higher angels" of her or his nature, increasingly committed to serving the greater good.  He or she becomes aware of the soul's purpose for a given lifetime and firmly committed to fulfilling that higher purpose. We are told that this phase of the journey—the conscious pursuit of self-perfection—takes lifetimes.  The individual passes through inner “battlefields” and “burning grounds” to eliminate the self-centered tendencies of the separative personality.  Ultimately, through the processes of self-purification, the disciple comes to recognize the One Soul in all souls.  Divine qualities seeded in the human being at the start of our evolutionary journey begin to manifest in the life of the conscious soul.  Inner beauty, truth, wisdom and light, largely veiled by the mask of the persona for lifetimes, are increasingly revealed.  The downpouring light of the soul transforms the persona into an instrument for divine expression.  The human being is transformed into a soul-infused personality whose life is directed from within by the Self. Transfiguration During the first stage of the transformative journey—transmutation—it is the mind that plays a major role as the agent for lifting force into energy.  In the second stage, transformation, the soul emerges into consciousness—purifying and taking control of the outer form.  In the third and final stage, transfiguration, the spirit completes the process that began with the soul’s awakening.  By this point the soul has won the struggle to control the personality, thus resolving duality into unity.  When this has been achieved, the soul-infused personality stands visibly transfigured before the world, a radiant Being of Light. The best-known exemplars of transfiguration have come to us through the legends of world religions:  the Buddha, emerging visibly illumined from his six-day meditation under the Boddhi Tree; Moses on Mount Sinai, surrounded by blazing light as he received the Ten Commandments; Jesus, appearing to his disciples on Mount Tabor as a transfigured being of light. According to the Ageless Wisdom, the experience of transfiguration awaits all souls who embark upon the path of transformation.  It marks the first true initiation of the human being into the spiritual kingdom—the Kingdom of Souls.  It is the stage on the path of conscious evolution when the Life of the Spirit is revealed directly through the outer self in the world of form.  The Tibetan master, Djwhal Khul, describes transfiguration in these words: The personality is irradiated by the full light of the soul and the three personality vehicles are completely transcended; they have become simply forms through which spiritual love may flow out into the world of men in the salvaging task of creation. [2] http://whenthesoulawakens.org/the-path-of-transformation_268.html