Are Good Looking Girls Mean or Nice

Are good looking girls mean to some guys? Or are they actually

 nicer than other girls? Here’s a good looking girl’s answer to that

 big question. By a good looking Anonymous Kitty

There are a lot of mean girls out there, and perhaps a few good looking mean girls too.

But that doesn’t mean all good looking girls are mean.

Here are a few reasons why some good looking girls are mean.

#1 They’re conceited. It’s true, a few good looking girls are completely full of themselves.

They think they’re a gift to mankind or something, and believe they need to be treated better than everyone else. They’re the annoying kind of good looking girls, and definitely, the shallow ones too.

#2 They like the attention. Almost all good looking girls know they get attention all the time. They know they’re hot stuff and they intend to use their looks at every possible instance to get something favorable.

It may be to date someone rich and have a sugar daddy, or it may be something to do with getting a better job. The attention works for them and they fully use it to their advantage.

#3 They’re intentionally mean. Some good looking girls are just terribly mean. I’ve seen many girls bat their eyelids at a guy and make him approach them only to spurn him away! It’s terrible and annoying, and these are the kind of girls that give good looking girls a bad name.

But this is more like the exception than the rule. All good looking girls are not heartless skanks whose only sole means of pleasure is chucking a wrecking ball at a guy’s heart.

Good looking girls are not intentionally mean

For a long time, I’ve seen just how misunderstood good looking girls are. No matter what a good looking girl does, it’s always bad. There’s just no way out. Here are a few reasons why good looking girls are assumed to be mean.

#1 Guys always exaggerate a good looking girl’s rejection to feel better about themselves. 

#2 Too many guys hit on good looking girls all the time, and they really don’t have the time to play nice to all the guys. What would you do if girls threw themselves at you all the time? You obviously can’t play nice to every girl you meet, especially if you know that you’re never going to be interested in that person.

#3 Guys are always mean to good looking girls. They expect a good looking girl to be snappy, so the guys go all out with their rude remarks. Additionally, a few guys get incredibly rude when they’re rejected. So a great looking girl’s always got to be on guard, or she’ll end up getting insulted by guys all the time.

#4 Cheesy pick up lines. How do you like your eggs in the morning… fried or fertilized? Really? How can a girl not get annoyed when she hears something like that? Most guys always use a pick up line when they strike up a conversation with a good looking girl like a pick up line makes them look cooler. But when a girl’s out with her friends, could it be possible that she’s just trying to have a nice time, not get her eggs picked?

People love to see a good looking girl punished

Sometimes, petty jealously can make people really mean. When a good looking girl gets a great guy, everyone else just hopes for her to get dumped or cheated on.

And almost always, everyone wants the good looking girl to date a guy who would treat her like crap just so she can feel their pain. This is especially true for guys who get rejected often. But really, why? What have good looking girls ever done to you? Well, yes, maybe some girl rejected you. But why stereotype all good looking girls into evil witches? 

Guys want a girl who’s beautiful but doesn’t know it

Isn’t that unfair? I’ve had a few guys tell me this line with a mean grin, to spite me or be frank, I really can’t tell.

But guys, you want the best girl in the world when clearly, you’re not the best guy in the world yet. You want a confused girl who’s insecure and timid, one who isn’t aware of her own beauty. Why is that? So you can feel good about yourself?

Isn’t that mean? You want the best of something without giving your best back to her. And at the same time, when a good looking girl wants a great guy, everyone thinks the girl’s a bitch, or that she’s shallow. It’s just so unfair.

Who are the real mean girls?

The real mean girls are the ones who constantly want attention or are the ones who think they’re really good looking when they really aren’t. They act snotty and constantly want attention because somewhere deep down, they’re all insecure because they’re not sure if they’re pretty.

And almost always, a good looking girl’s not so good looking friend is usually the mean one. She tries to use her good looking friend’s attractiveness to get attention and treat guys badly because she wants to get even with all the guys who didn’t give her attention. I may sound rude and full of myself, but it’s true. People get mean when they want to inflict pain on someone else for their own shortcomings.

I know a lot of models and good looking guys and girls, and I can assure you, they are the nicest and sweetest people in the world. Just don’t try hitting on them or taking them to bed at hello. Get to know them as a friend first. You’ll see how nice good looking people really are. They’re just like every other nice person in the world. 

Good looking girls are human too

Contrary to popular belief, good looking girls are just like everyone else. They have a heart that hurts and wants true love too. Here are a few things about good looking girls that many guys don’t give a thought about.

#1 They want to be appreciated too. It’s true, they love romance and little skips of joy like every other girl out there. But please, be a great guy who’s sweet and charming.

#2 They’re more than skin deep. Good looking girls want to be liked for who they are beyond their appearance. When a guy just stares at her without listening to her words, it’s insulting.

#3 They don’t like being constantly picked up. Good looking girls don’t want to be hit on or stared at all the time. They’re not animals at a zoo. Why do guys think good looking girls are just meant to be picked up?

#4 Screw the prejudice. Really, good looking girls aren’t always mean. They know their worth, and they appreciate a guy who knows to behave around them and treat them as a person. And they’re completely human and have feelings just like all other girls.

Most good looking girls are nicer than other girls

Almost all the time, most good looking girls are nicer than average looking girls. Good looking girls need to try harder to prove that they’re not stuck up or full of themselves.

An average looking girl sometimes throws a hissy fit just to feel pampered. When she does that, everyone else thinks she’s being cute. But when a good looking girl does the same thing, she’s being bitchy. When a great looking girl asks a guy for a favor like getting dropped home, I see eyes rolling and hear gasps of exasperation. Everyone thinks she’s taking advantage of a guy. But when any other girl does that, they think she’s being a good friend. Isn’t that unfair?

And on another note, good looking girls always need to work harder to achieve anything. Whatever we achieve in life, people think we got it off easy. Yes, it’s true, guys are nicer to good looking girls. But not all of them. Almost all guys just think the world’s spinning in our favor because we’re good looking girls. And that’s just not true.

Debunking the stereotype

Really, good looking girls have a heart too. Just for once, try to see the world through our eyes. How would you feel if every guy you get introduced to looks at your breasts while speaking to you and stares at your ass when you walk away? Would you feel like a person or an object?

http://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/are-good-looking-girls-mean-or-nice

How To Be Happier

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

Think of a happy friend, neighbor, or classmate. When you think of them, you become happy too-- and people you touch may also become happier. A happy person's influence spreads out three degrees, according to scientists who have been studying people over twenty-plus years (Framingham Heart Study).

We have some control over how happy we are. Here are some tips on how to be happier:

1) Find ten things to be grateful about -- every day.

This is one of the most effective ways to be happier. Studies of lottery winners and paraplegics alike show that a person's individual level of happiness is directly related to their own perception and ability to find happiness, regardless of the situation. When you are grateful you are happier. 

 2) Seek out happy friends.

Make friends with people who have a cheerful outlook and an enthusiastic attitude. They will help remind you of things to be happy about in life. As an alternative, start minimizing your time with negative, whiner, or complaining people.

 3) Go for a 15-minute walk.

Fresh air and a change of perspective help move you towards happiness. Find a patch of nature like a community garden, a park, or a lake to walk around.

 4) Breathe deeply.

Believe it or not, you may not be getting enough life-giving oxygen. Sit still for a moment and breathe deeply ten times --- with the added boost of revitalization, you may find yourself in a happier frame of mind.

 5) Find the small stuff that makes you happy - and do it every day.

As creatures of habit, we crave routine. Incorporate something that brings you happiness into your daily routine, so you experience that mood enhancement every day. A "small thing" could be anything that elevates your spirit and is healthy for you and the people around you: it might mean using a favorite toothpaste, watering your potted plants, a familiar bike ride to campus or work, a sharp pencil, five minutes of doing something relaxing, a happy picture on your screen, your favorite tunes on your playlist, a daily massage, or anything that brings you pleasure.

Think of happiness as a number of happy moments, stretching out to infinity --- and go from one of these moments to the next, to the next, to the next.

What does it mean when a lady gets a tattoo?

I was far more nervous about my second tattoo than my first, and it took me a long time to figure out why. All the apprehension I had when I went in for the first time – questions of pain, regret, family approval – were, I think, pretty standard things you feel mildly obliged to worry about; and they all faded away as soon as my tattoo artist started, never to return. I thought the lead up to my second would be anxiety free.

The difference between the two tattoos is this: the first is on my back; the second on my upper arm. That is, pretty clearly visible, especially on formal occasions (which come up a bit at my work). I knew, after I got my first tattoo, that I loved it and I loved the tattoo aesthetic. I knew that I wanted more. I had – or have – rarely been so certain of things that can’t be taken back. But there was some part of me didn’t want other people to know that.

It can be hard for a woman to assert ownership of her body. We grow up in a world in which our bodies are battlegrounds: politically, religiously, ideologically, and to differing extents all over the world. I think we become aware very early on that there are people out there who dispute our claim to have control over our own bodies, concerning everything from our right to choose, to how we present ourselves in public, to our sexual habits and inclinations.

I don’t mean to compare hesitation to get a tattoo with the struggle for reproductive rights, suffrage, freedom from violence, or any of the other (far more pressing) concerns for women around the world. But I do mean to suggest that they are in some small way connected, through the sometimes unconscious processes of socialisation.

It is not surprising, after all, that this millennia old struggle for control should inform our ideas of what is beautiful and desirable, and that this should filter through media, advertising and art to us. Tattoos, I would argue, are a small stand against the dominant aesthetic paradigm which equates femininity to emptiness.

Besides tattoos, think of the many circumstances in which filled (or positive) space equates to masculinity, and empty (or negative) space equates to femininity. Scars, for example; a scar on a man is sexy: it speaks of experience, survival, strength. On a woman, it equates to damage, carelessness, and victimhood.

Tara Cartland

Think, even, of the aesthetics of the cosmetics industry: flawless skin and hairless bodies. No stretch marks, wrinkles, moles, or body hair. No signs of aging or experience, please. It’s also no co-incidence that the traditional Western wedding (and debutant) dress is white: it symbolises not only purity, but vacancy.

Even the traditional rituals of such ceremonies suggests that we do not define ourselves; wepresent ourselves to other people, and through the course of our lives are defined according to and within tightly controlled and constructed social occasions.

Upon thinking about this, I realised that there was some part of me that bought into this idea. That wanted to maintain the idea of myself as a blank slate, and a space for someone else’s projections. Not ‘the girl with tattoos’, but ‘the girl who could be anything you want’. Is that a healthy impulse? I don’t think so. Why do I care more about preserving the non-existent tabula rasa of my body than asserting my individuality in a way that makes me happy?

It was a while before I was comfortable saying: I don’t.

And I love my new tattoo: a black ink sketch of Charles Darwin’s predicted moth, its wings spread and its unlikely, long proboscis arcing up my arm. It’s a tribute to the ideas that have shaped me – literally and intellectually. It gets its fair share of comments; most are overwhelmingly positive, and some are not. It turns out visible tattoos are an excellent litmus test for awful people: “I can’t believe,” a stranger, male, said to me one night without the slightest hint of irony, “that a girl knows about science.” I was happy to have proved him wrong.

In the context of our modern femininity and our ongoing battles, I think there’s something wonderfully revolutionary about tattoos. They are a small flag which says, this is mine. This body, which I have a fleeting possession over for too few decades, is wholly mine and all I am: complete and sovereign.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/what-does-it-mean-when-women-have-tattoos/

Am I In Love 21 Signs That Help Decode That Fuzzy Feeling

Am I in love? – The 21 love signs to decode that fuzzy feeling!

Love can be confusing, especially if you’re experiencing that feeling for the first time with someone new. It leaves you feeling scared and yet overwhelmingly excited.

Use these 21 signs to find out if you’re in love, and if you do experience most of these 21 signs, you’re truly and deeply in the first stage of love, in a perfect start to something that could change your life for the better, forever! 

#1 Awesome and oh-so-perfect. When you start to fall in love with someone, everything about them would seem so perfect. And every second longer that you stare, they just seem to get better and better. And you can’t imagine anyone in the world who’s more perfect, and more importantly, perfect for you!

#2 You can’t focus. You’re constantly distracted and have a hard time focusing on anything other than this new person in your life. Everything other than your new lover including your work, your friends and your commitments start to take a backseat.

#3 You feel selfless. You can’t help but put this person’s needs before yours all the time. You’re eager to sacrifice your wants just to see your new lover happy because watching them happy makes you happy.

#4 Mood swings and excitement. You’d feel excited all the time when you start falling in love with someone. But with that high of excitement also come the terribly painful lows of disappointment. You get excited easily when your sweetheart does something nice for you. But at the same time, you get disappointed very easily too, especially when your sweetie doesn’t call you on time or forgets to text you goodnight! 

#5 Daydreaming and fantasies. Your mind drifts away into fantasyland almost all day. You may be in the middle of an important meeting or having a conversation with friends, but your mind may involuntarily drift into a daydream about the last time you and your new lover did something together.

#6 There’s not enough time. When you’re falling in love with someone, time may stand still when both of you are together. But yet, there’s just not enough time to be with each other! You could spend all day in each other’s arms, but when it comes to saying goodbye, it’s still the hardest thing to say to each other.

#7 They’re so cute. Everything about this person you love would start to seem charming or cute. It could be something as trivial as the way they run their hands through their hair or the way they smile when you compliment them. But to you, that gesture of theirs would make your heart melt in a flash! 

#8 Jealousy and possessiveness. You’d feel very possessive of your lover. You may not always display your jealousy or your possessiveness to them, but you’d feel a twang of jealousy welling within you if you see your new lover having a flirty conversation with an attractive someone.

#9 Happy events. You create memories or try to compare anything both of you do together to something more beautiful, meaningful and dramatic. Something as trivial as having coffee together one evening could convince you that it one of the happiest evenings of your life.

#10 Our place. If you’re falling in love with this person, you’d start naming places as “our place”, or “the place we laughed so much” or “the place which sells the cupcakes both of us love”. Doing that makes both of you feel closer, creates more together-memories faster and makes your relationship seem more meaningful and important. 

#11 Mesmerized. You’re mesmerized when you listen to them talk about something. You don’t want them to stop talking, and you could spend all day watching those lips move so beautifully while saying anything at all. In fact, at times, you may be so mesmerized by them that you may not even realize what they’re talking about.

#12 Spread the word. When you love someone, you can’t stop talking about them. You’d talk about how amazing they are, how wonderful you feel and how romantic the world feels all of a sudden, with everyone who’s willing to listen to you.

#13 Rolling in bed. Rolling around in bed is a definite sign of falling in love. When you start to fall for someone, the comfort of a soft, cozy bed would remind you of your new lover’s touch. And every morning, you’d spend a few more minutes running your hands around your bed and fantasizing about how perfect it would be if your lover was in bed with you. 

#14 Your jaws hurt. No matter how hard you try, you can’t clamp that smile shut even if your jaws hurt. The world looks so beautiful, and everything in it just makes you smile and jump.

#15 Special times. You constantly think of ways to do something special for them. When you’re shopping, you feel like picking something up for them. When you’re having lunch with friends at a really nice place, you wonder how it would be to come to this place with your new boyfriend or girlfriend.

#16 Your ex vanishes. You may have been haunted by the memories of your ex for several months, but all of a sudden your ex doesn’t hurt you anymore. In fact, they don’t even exist anymore!

#17 You’ve found the one. No one else seems as attractive and perfect as your new partner anymore. You could walk into a club and see the most gorgeous people on earth, but somehow, none of them seem as exciting as the one you’re falling in love with. 

#18 Entangled hands. You just can’t keep your hands off this person when you’re with them. You hold hands while walking, while talking and even while sitting at a restaurant *even if that means you have to use only one hand to cut your steak!*

#19 The big future. You make plans for the future, even if it’s only in your head. You imagine how wonderful the years ahead would be with this person in your life. 

#20 You melt just a little bit. You can’t stop grinning or blushing while talking to this person you love. Their compliments make you blush. Their longing stares make you melt like butter. And their warm hugs just make you want to sink into them completely.

#21 Those love songs. You may hate love songs to begin with, but when you fall in love, you can’t help but listen to mushy love songs and visualize your own fairytale romance in it. Somehow, love songs always make you feel more in love, especially if the lyrics seem to coincide with your own love story.

The first stage of love, the infatuation stage, is always wonderful, full of romance and unquenchable passion. And it’s a perfect step to pave the way into the next eight stages of love, which will only get better and more meaningful. But which stage are you in right now? Or are you even in love?

http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/am-i-in-love-signs

How to discover your life purpose in about 20 minutes

How do you discover your real purpose in life? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.

Perhaps you’re a rather nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. Doesn’t matter. Not believing that you have a purpose won’t prevent you from discovering it, just as a lack of belief in gravity won’t prevent you from tripping. All that a lack of belief will do is make it take longer, so if you’re one of those people, just change the number 20 in the title of this blog entry to 40 (or 60 if you’re really stubborn). Most likely though if you don’t believe you have a purpose, then you probably won’t believe what I’m saying anyway, but even so, what’s the risk of investing an hour just in case?

Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which sets the stage for this little exercise. A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup,” said Bruce, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

So how to discover your purpose in life? While there are many ways to do this, some of them fairly involved, here is one of the simplest that anyone can do. The more open you are to this process, and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.

Here’s what to do:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

That’s it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a counselor or an engineer or a bodybuilder. To some people this exercise will make perfect sense. To others it will seem utterly stupid. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it’s coming to you from a different source entirely.

For those who are very entrenched in low-awareness living, it will take a lot longer to get all the false answers out, possibly more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100 or 200 or maybe even 500 answers, you’ll be struck by the answer that causes you to surge with emotion, the answer that breaks you. If you’ve never done this, it may very well sound silly to you. So let it seem silly, and do it anyway.

As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that’s fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

You may also discover a few answers that seem to give you a mini-surge of emotion, but they don’t quite make you cry — they’re just a bit off. Highlight those answers as you go along, so you can come back to them to generate new permutations. Each reflects a piece of your purpose, but individually they aren’t complete. When you start getting these kinds of answers, it just means you’re getting warm. Keep going.

It’s important to do this alone and with no interruptions. If you’re a nihilist, then feel free to start with the answer, “I don’t have a purpose,” or “Life is meaningless,” and take it from there. If you keep at it, you’ll still eventually converge.

When I did this exercise, it took me about 25 minutes, and I reached my final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini-surges) appeared at steps 17, 39, and 53, and then the bulk of it fell into place and was refined through steps 100-106. I felt the feeling of resistance (wanting to get up and do something else, expecting the process to fail, feeling very impatient and even irritated) around steps 55-60. At step 80 I took a 2-minute break to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and to focus on the intention for the answer to come to me — this was helpful as the answers I received after this break began to have greater clarity.

Here was my final answer: to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.

When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.

If you’re inclined to ask why this little process works, just put that question aside until after you’ve successfully completed it. Once you’ve done that, you’ll probably have your own answer to why it works. Most likely if you ask 10 different people why this works (people who’ve successfully completed it), you’ll get 10 different answers, all filtered through their individual belief systems, and each will contain its own reflection of truth.

Obviously, this process won’t work if you quit before convergence. I’d guesstimate that 80-90% of people should achieve convergence in less than an hour. If you’re really entrenched in your beliefs and resistant to the process, maybe it will take you 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply quit early (like within the first 15 minutes) or won’t even attempt it at all. But if you’re drawn to read this blog (and haven’t been inclined to ban it from your life yet), then it’s doubtful you fall into this group.

Give it a shot 

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/01/how-to-discover-your-life-purpose-in-about-20-minutes/

12 Rude Revelations About Sex

In order to transcend the discomfort that sex typically stirs, you may need to radically rethink desire, marriage, fidelity, and much more.

By Alain de Botton, published on January 02, 2013 - last reviewed on January 02, 2013

Sex, we have been led to believe, is as natural as breathing. But in fact, contends British philosopher Alain de Botton, it is "close to rocket science in complexity." It's not only a powerful force, it's often contrary to many other things we care about. Sex inherently sets up conflicts within us. We crave sex with people we don't know or love. It makes us want to do things that seem immoral or degrading, like slapping someone or being tied up. We feel awkward asking the people we love for the sex acts we really want.
There's no denying that sex has its sweaty charms, and in its most exquisite moments dissolves the isolation that embodied life imposes on us. But those moments are rare, the exception rather than the rule, says de Botton, founder of London's School of Life. "Sex is always going to cause us headaches; it's not something we can miraculously grow relaxed about." We suffer privately, feeling "painfully strange about the sex we are either longing to have or struggling to avoid."

If we turn to sex books to help us work out this central experience of our lives, we are typically assured that most problems are mechanical, a matter of method. In his own new book, How to Think More About Sex, de Botton makes the case that our difficulties stem more from the multiplicity of things we want out of life, or the accrual of everyday resentments, or the weirdness of the sex drive itself. Here are some of the most basic questions it answers. —The Editors

Why do most people lie about their true desires?

It is rare to go through life without feeling that we are somehow a bit odd about sex. It is an area in which most of us have a painful impression, in our heart of hearts, that we are quite unusual. Despite being one of the most private activities, sex is nevertheless surrounded by a range of powerfully socially sanctioned ideas that codify how normal people are meant to feel about and deal with the matter. In truth, however, few of us are remotely normal sexually. We are almost all haunted by guilt and neuroses, by phobias and disruptive desires, by indifference and disgust. We are universally deviant—but only in relation to some highly distorted ideals of normality.
Most of what we are sexually remains impossible to communicate with anyone whom we would want to think well of us. Men and women in love instinctively hold back from sharing more than a fraction of their desires out of a fear, usually accurate, of generating intolerable disgust in their partners.
Nothing is erotic that isn't also, with the wrong person, revolting, which is precisely what makes erotic moments so intense: At the precise juncture where disgust could be at its height, we find only welcome and permission. Think of two tongues exploring the deeply private realm of the mouth—that dark, moist cavity that no one but our dentist usually enters. The privileged nature of the union between two people is sealed by an act that, with someone else, would horrify them both.
What unfolds between a couple in the bedroom is an act of mutual reconciliation between two secret sexual selves emerging at last from sinful solitude. Their behavior is starkly at odds with the behavior expected of them by the civilized world. At last, in the semi-darkness a couple can confess to the many wondrous and demented things that having a body drives them to want.

Why is sex more difficult to talk about in this era, not less?

Whatever discomfort we feel around sex is commonly aggravated by the idea that we belong to a liberated age—and ought by now to be finding sex a straightforward and untroubling matter, a little like tennis, something that everyone should have as often as possible to relieve the stresses of modern life.
The narrative of enlightenment and progress skirts an unbudging fact: Sex is not something we can ever expect to feel easily liberated from. It is a fundamentally disruptive and overwhelming force, at odds with the majority of our ambitions and all but incapable of being discreetly integrated within civilized society. Sex is not fundamentally democratic or kind. It refuses to sit neatly on top of love. Tame it though we might try, it tends to wreak havoc across our lives; it leads us to destroy our relationships, threatens our productivity, and compels us to stay up too late in nightclubs talking to people whom we don't like but whose exposed midriffs we wish to touch. Our best hope should be for a respectful accommodation with an anarchic and reckless power.

How is sex a great lie detector?

Involuntary physiological reactions such as the wetness of a vagina and the stiffness of a penis are emotionally so satisfying (which means, simultaneously, so erotic) because they signal a kind of approval that lies utterly beyond rational manipulation. Erections and lubrication simply cannot be effected by willpower and are therefore particularly true and honest indices of interest. In a world in which fake enthusiasms are rife, in which it is often hard to tell whether people really like us or whether they are being kind to us merely out of a sense of duty, the wet vagina and the stiff penis function as unambiguous agents of sincerity.
A kiss is pleasurable because of the sensory receptivity of our lips, but a good deal of our excitement has nothing to do with the physical dimension of the act: It stems from the simple realization that someone else likes us quite a lot.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201212/12-rude-revelations-about-sex

Top 2 Things Men are Terrified Of (and How to Help Without Letting Them Know You Know)

He will never tell you any of this.

In fact, he's dying to read this article, but he would never let you catch him doing it, and he certainly won't admit to wanting to know if his deep, dark secrets are hanging out like underwear on a clothesline. In the front yard. In the middle of a busy city. (Hah!)

Well, he won't tell you, but I will.

But first, two warnings:

First, this isn't a complete list. Of course! But I think these are the two biggest ones. (I'm working on more articles about a few of the others...)

Second, I'm not telling you so you can shame him. I'm doing this so you can help him. But you have to be sneaky, so that he doesn't know. Be nice to your man – he worships the ground you walk on, and believe me, he knows a few of your dirty dark secrets, too.

On to the juice, shall we?

GUY FEAR #1: My sexual desires are NOT okay

I won't tell you that old thing about how guys want waaay more sex that women do, because it's actually not true. Women want it, we just want it under different terms. He just... wants it. Every possible way he can imagine it. With your sister, your mom, the librarian (definitely the librarian), the teenager snapping her gum behind the cash register. He's even had a dirty fantasy about that weird shopping cart lady.

Sex movies of every description (multiple lovers, bondage, fetish, you name it) run in his brain nearly all the time, and sometimes what's showing on the screen shocks even him.

Deep down, he's terrified that he wants sex too much, or in the wrong ways, with the wrong people. His sex drive is a formidable machine, and it's a testament to his power that he doesn't let it drive his life, only his brain.

What YOU can do to help him

Creating an atmosphere of openness in your intimate life with him is the first step in making him feel less scared about his sexual desire. I'm not saying you have to DO everything that he THINKS about, but be willing to ask him to talk about his fantasies. Invite him to give you steamy details. Even the act of sharing can be a tremendous gift of sexual energy between the two of you.

Help him learn to make YOU the star of his sexual mind shows, even if all you do is tell him a dirty story during foreplay.

And finally, don't forget to let him know you're sexually satisfied! If you can do this, he's going to become so riveted by you he'll never want to let you go. EVERY man wants to know he can sexually satisfy a woman.

GUY FEAR #2: Other men will think I'm weak

You gotta feel for the men of our world. They're expected to get a respectable paycheck, make us feel secure, (not think about sex so much), beat out the other guys, support the winning team, be tough, overcome all the obstacles in their way, scare away the bad guys, and never show fatigue, fear, or ANYthing except sheer strength and confidence.

It's a lot to live up to.

It's impossible to live up to, actually.

And yet that's the challenge they hear every single day. And if they don't answer it – actually DOMINATE it – their fear is that they will be publicly shamed, humiliated, despised... Not so much by you or by other women (although they hate the idea of that, too), but by other MEN.

But that doesn't mean YOU don't have power. Every man wants a woman who is unreservedly, whole-heartedly ON HIS SIDE. Your support actually adds to his power in the world of other men.

What YOU can do to help him

I have a question for you: if he's fighting away on the field of his life, do you ever even show up at his game? And if you do, can he hear your enthusiastic, genuine support for him?

I'm not saying you have to actually get out your cheerleader skirt and shimmy and shout (although he'll probably appreciate that, see #1 above!), but there IS a way to let him know you're seeing how hard he works, and you want him to win.

Encourage him to tell you about his daily battles. Lean in and attentively soak up every bit. Ask for details. Don't multitask while you're doing this; give him your full focus. Be his raving fan.

And offer him your sincere admiration. Let him know how strong you find him, how amazing his accomplishments and abilities are. If you can make him feel like you believe in him and are on his side no matter what, you are going to ADDICT him to you.

3 Steps to make a man love you

If you're sick of "Bad Boys," "Players" and guys
who just won't commit, you need to go watch this
new video renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore put up. It's called "3 Steps To Make A Man Love You" and 
it teaches you how to make a man not just "fall" for a you... But to actually
make him obsessed with you so HE decides he WANTS to be serious...

--> Make him powerfully addicted (in a really good way) to you!

Michael lays out the absolute truth about what men
really want and need from a woman for them to be able
to give EVERYTHING to her... (In fact, he flat out tells you how his girlfriend Captured
His Heart and made him fall for her HARD even though
he was "playing the field" and thought he'd never settle down.)

To Find Out More

http://tinyurl.com/dy4gmye

Are You a Man Magnet?

Are You a Man Magnet? How to Find the Love You Deserve

By LizzieP

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Do you ever feel like you’ll never find “The One”? Have you been involved with a string of selfish and inconsiderate commitment phobes? Or, are you divorced and bitter, certain that in the love game, you’ve been dealt a bad hand?

Read on. There is hope that you will find what you want most deeply—a good relationship with someone who loves you dearly. 

The path of true love has never run smooth for me. Until a couple of years ago, my relationships ranged from blah to bad, with a few happy moments early on. I just wasn’t a good picker, I guess. And once I was in, I would struggle to “make it work” only to end up resentful that my needs were at the bottom of the pile. 

But that’s all different now. In the middle of middle age, I found and married my true love. He fulfills me on every level. He is kind, intelligent, very funny, and yes—hot.

What changed? Well, after my second (!) divorce, I realized that I was still attractive, vibrant, and young enough to find a new relationship. I still wanted to. None of that bitter, “All men are bastards,” divorcee-crap for me. And this time I wasn’t going to settle for Mr. Dysfunction. No sir. 

I guess I went through a little mini-renaissance. I stepped up my visits to the gym, grew my hair and bought a bunch of cute clothes. My friends commented that “I glowed.” Yeah. Getting out from under that draining relationship brought me back to life. 

Lesson #1: Being true to a positive you is the best revenge.

I went out on the town. By myself, if I couldn’t get a girlfriend to come along. I was scared at first. I stood by my car at the local pub for at least ten minutes. Then I thought, “Heck, if I don’t like it, I’ll have one drink and leave. What’s the big deal?” So I went in and had a great time. Ran into some friends, danced, got asked out to dinner. 

Every week I went out at least once. Sometimes I couldn’t get my single friends to go. “I want to stay in and watch a video.” Hello! You won’t meet anyone in your living room!

Lesson #2: Get out there, even if it is outside your comfort zone. Especially if it is outside your comfort zone.

Once you’re out—or anywhere, work, running errands, etc.—cultivating an approachable demeanor is key. I thank author Mama Gena for this one. She talks about appreciating each man you meet. That means smiling. Saying hello. Thanking them when they open the door, ’cause they will now. 

If you walk around, eyes straight ahead, the walls up, lost in your little world, you won’t meet anyone. There could be tons of great guys everywhere on your daily path. You just don’t see them. I was asked for a date at the auto parts store while buying a windshield washer blade. I asked a nice guy’s advice, he helped me and even installed it for me. Then he asked me to go for a drink. Unfortunately I couldn’t, as I was getting ready for a dinner date that night. 

Of course, use your good sense. If you’re walking a dark city street you might not want to say hello to those thugs in the alley. 

Lesson #3: Be open, friendly and approachable. Treat men like potential friends, not “the enemy.”

That brings me to a key point. How many women have you heard bad-mouth men? “There are no good ones left.” “Men suck.” “All men are dogs.” Yeah, some are not good partnership choices. I know. But having a bad attitude toward men, being suspicious and bitchy, won’t bring you love. Nice guys don’t want to be around a negative, nasty woman. 

There are a lot of good guys out there. Check out a personals site. Maybe you won’t find anyone who cooks your noodle, but read the profiles. There are a lot of lonely, regular guys who just want to find a good relationship. Most of them are victims of the marital wars, too, only they had the dysfunctional spouse. Believe it or not, there are a lot of whacked out women who dump on nice men. Then they freak out when he finally divorces them. My honey is in that category. 

Lesson #4: Having a positive attitude will help you attract positive people.

Another key step is identifying what you want. I read something that said to list the five top traits you were looking for. Mine were: intelligent, compassionate, good sense of humor, mature and “a doer.” I also threw in “good father” as most men in my age bracket are dads. I figured someone who is a good father is likely a caring, responsible adult. Very attractive. 

Lesson #5: You have to know what you want before you can find it.

Meditate on the kind of relationship you want, too. Picture it. Someone who is good to you. Someone you trust. Someone loyal who likes you. Like a friend with real benefits. If any doubts or fears crop up when you think about this, work on it. You may have blocks that are preventing you from finding love. Like, you don’t think you deserve it. 

Lesson #6: Believe yourself worthy of receiving as well as giving love. 

http://www.divinecaroline.com/love-sex/are-you-man-magnet-how-find-love-you-deserve

How to seduce a man

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FLIRTATION AND SEDUCTION 
Flirtation is simply about making the other party feel like a million dollars: it’s a way of making someone feel so good that they are attracted to you and want to be around you. 

Seduction is taking flirtation to a level where you are setting out to achieve a conscious goal - that can be in a sexual sense, or simply about achieving a status where you enter into a relationship. 

Seduction can also be used in the workplace to get the results required in negotiations. 

Once you realise the power of seduction, you can apply it to all areas of your life: for example, getting a BT technician to be extra dedicated when sorting out your phone. 

KNOW WHO YOU ARE BEFORE TRYING TO SEDUCE SOMEONE 
Until you know who you are and are comfortable with that, it’s difficult to set about seducing someone with any conviction.

It’s often said that confidence is the sexiest attribute one can possess, and it’s true that people are naturally drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin. 

Make sure you’re happy with what you are wearing, you like your hair and make-up, and you’re feeling calm and happy. It’s much easier to seduce a man when you are at ease with yourself and have a sense of your own personality. 

SIN CITY

In 1938 Frank Sinatra faced charges in New Jersey of seduction, having enticed a woman 'of good repute to have sexual intercourse upon the promise of marriage'

MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL

Giving someone attention is the ultimate seduction technique. It can be quite subtle, but it’s all about creating an intimacy to make that man feel special. 

If it’s someone you don’t know, begin with eye contact, then start a conversation and adapt your body language. 

If it’s someone you’re in a relationship with and want to add some seductive sparkle, then start with the same approach: pretend you are getting to know them for the first time.

Try to learn new things about that person, however long you’ve been together. 

Don’t be overbearing: have a happy, relaxed attitude that isn’t needy. 

Making a man feel like there’s nothing else more interesting in the world than him is a key factor in the art of seduction. 

GROOMING IS ESSENTIAL 
Subtle, understated make-up is important: so don’t go overboard. Men don’t like the mask effect of lots of make-up; they like to know what’s underneath. 

Put simply: make-up is messy and gets in the way, and a lot of men really don’t like it. 

Better to spend your time treating your hair with an intense conditioning mask so it’s soft and shiny, and applying a deliciously soft lotion or oil on to your skin so it’s smooth and silky to the touch. 

Long talons are a turn-off, too: neat, tidy nails without any rough edges are much more appealing. Choose your fragrance carefully. You want to smell clean, but not like you are wearing somebody else’s scent. Perfume simply masks who you really are: men are genetically programmed to love the natural scent of a woman’s skin — even if we aren’t aware it exists. 

 

More...

• Rowan Pelling: Candlelit dinners? No, all I want is a naughty nibble in bed
• Men expect women to take all the decisions: What to wear, what to eat, why to buy - even where to live
• LIZ JONES: Got a hot Valentine's date? Don't dress up if you want him to undress you later...

WEAR THE RIGHT CLOTHES AND SHOES 
Most women have an outfit that makes them feel sexy: I have an Alexander McQueen dress that is my ‘result dress’. It’s a sure bet, because it dresses my contours. 

Wear the right underwear, too. You need to show off your bottom or your bust and know what your assets are: men like the obvious elements of a woman’s body. There is also a reason stilettos have become a cliche, they work. 

Don’t stop making an effort to wear seductive clothing just because you’ve been in a relationship for a while: going to the trouble of wearing your man’s favourite outfit is a real turn-on. Take him by surprise when he gets home from work one evening.=

GIVE THE AIR OF SEXUAL POSSIBILITY

Men don’t like to work that hard: they like to feel there is the possibility of physicality. If you’re in a long-term relationship and your idea of romance is a candlelit supper, make that a more appealing prospect for your man by alluding to the delicious dish - you - that might be served for afters. 

If you are looking to seduce a new partner, demonstrate some kind of awareness of the possibility of physical intimacy without being overtly sexual or threatening. 

Men are simple, not stupid. Seduction is about a simple fulfilment for them, but they also like to feel they are the masters of seduction. Keep an air of mystery to your seduction: keep it light, look like you’re a fun option. If they don’t respond to you as the fun person, they’ll run a mile when you mention all your neuroses. 

DON’T APPEAR DESPERATE 
You mustn’t chase hard: nothing is more off-putting than desperation. Make yourself attractive by being as gorgeous as you can in your own skin. Seducing a man is about making him want to chase you. 

The women who find it hard to seduce a man come with a long, demanding list of requirements: the ones who seduce with ease are the ones who come with an air of mystery.

Read More
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1249259/How--seduce-man.html